When I was 14 years old, a freak accident gave me the ability, if it is the right word to use, to see weird shapes with my left eye.
Here’s what happened: While playing badminton, a friend hit me with the racket on my eye. Don’t ask how it is even possible, but it just goes to show how bad my doubles partner was at the game. Anyways, the doctor said it is fine and nothing serious. But, of course there was something very serious.
A few days later, I couldn’t see above a certain horizontal level with my left eye. So, assuming you were my height then, I would have to raise my neck a little bit to look at your face. This time the doctor did say it was something serious. Apparently, my retina had detached from its position and was hanging loose.
The operation involved cutting open my eye(yes!), inserting some ice instrument (yes!) which then burns the retina so that it melts and sticks to its original place (yes!). The doc said that this eye burn is common to people in colder areas. I don’t know how much of it is correct because the doctor could have tried to explain me things in a simple way or I could have misunderstood him or my memory isn’t as sharp as it was then. The doctors among you can vet how correct this is. To close the eye back, they had to stitch it up (yes!). You could actually see 4 black stitches in my eye. They gradually melted away and my eye became almost perfect.
Almost.
What’s remaining is I see your face in a little contorted shape with my left eye. And I see weird shapes which look like these:
I don’t really know what to make of it. This shape is funny, because if I try too hard to notice it, it shifts its place. But when I really relax, it lets me have a look. I think the shape has changed over the years. It feels as if they are black stars floating in a sky of yellow liquid. Just observing these shapes is a good way to spend some time alone.
When my mind is at peace, they present themselves to me. When I am not looking, they appear. When I look too hard, they go away. But, if at times, I tell myself that I am not looking, and still let the eye move, they reveal themselves to me. A momentary loss of mind control pushes them away and they become haywire and scatter away. I guess they just need a clear mind as a breeding ground. It is as if they are waiting for mind to be at rest. Otherwise they run amok at free will which is neither mine nor does it seems theirs.
I don’t know if to conclude something from it but it reminds me of something I’ve read in way too many books: It is when you are at peace, your mind is calm that all the beauty of life presents itself to you.
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