Boom! Boom! Boom!
I empty the clip. A triple barrel bluff. The villain is tanking. My heart is leaping out of my mouth. It's for a lot of money. A month's salary for me at one point in my pre-poker career.
5 Years A Poker Player - Changes, Lessons and Future
It has been more than five years since I started playing poker for a living. This post is a contemplation on how life as a professional poker player has been. That means a reflection on my reasons for choosing this path, lessons learned, and plans ahead.
To give you context, this is my current situation: I got married 2.5 years ago, just turned 33 and after spending the first two years of my career in Goa, I now live in a peaceful corner of a metro. I almost exclusively play NLHE cash games (<=NL50k INR) with a handful of tournaments thrown in.
With that out of the way, let’s start with the biggest changes in why I play poker.
Reasons for Poker - Then vs Now
The change in desires that drive you towards your purpose (along with changes in the purpose itself) is a natural progression of life.
1. Competition
The drama and the emotions associated with sports enthral me. I had wanted to take up sports as a career option but an unfortunate injury at 13 meant I couldn’t. But the allure of a competitive sports career never left me. So when I discovered poker after a few regular jobs and running my own startup, it posed itself as a very attractive career choice.
Now, things are different. Besting others in a competition doesn’t give me the same thrill. My definition of a good life no longer includes locking horns with others on a daily basis. Instead, now when I need to compete, I look inwards and towards my past self.
2. Freedom of Time & Schedule
It is the most beautiful thing about poker and has remained unchanged. Whenever I find myself disillusioned from the game, I remind myself of this incredible perk. The luxury of an afternoon nap without any obligations is unparalleled. And this freedom has only grown over the years. As I became better, I played higher stakes which means that I don’t need to grind as much as I needed to for the same amount of money. This brings me to the next point.
3. Money
The ceiling for the money you can make in poker when compared with most regular jobs is much higher. With your rise in stakes, the potential to earn more increases. The main change for me here is that this need is not as urgent. I still like to make money of course, but I don’t mind investing time in other areas to see what might work.
4. Balance
I wanted the aforementioned freedom to be able to write more. That hasn't happened. So if I have any regrets, this would be it. I underestimated the time and effort it requires to become really good at such a competitive game. This holds true for any skill. If you want to be great, balance goes out the window. Your craft becomes all-consuming. There is no other way. If there is, it's much more tedious. And now I want to get back that balance.
Major changes in reasons why I play poker
THE 5 BIGGEST LESSONS
Poker might seem like a game of cards, but it is a game you play versus yourself. Your opponents are just different versions that you've been or will be at different times. The challenge is to become the best version possible. And in this quest, these are the most important lessons I’ve learned.
1. Grind/Discipline - You have to grind, you have to put in the hours. There is no way around it. A few times, I tried to get by with a lighter work schedule but it is a risky choice. Sure, it might work sometimes, but then you leave a lot more to luck. Whereas, a good work ethic almost guarantees success.
2. Movement is crucial - Constant learning is essential. And I don't mean just in terms of new strategies although that won't hurt. I mean even in terms of learning better mindset management techniques. Staying still means getting left behind.
3. Game of love - Nick Kyrgios is one of the most talented tennis players active currently. But his current ranking is only 115 when he has the potential of a top 10 player. It's probably down to the fact that he calls Tennis his "part-time job" - not exactly a passion of his. You can see how this can translate to Poker as well. No love for the game = no success.
4. Mindset is everything - In the long run, a more stable but worse player wins vs a better but mercurial player. A month of good work can be ruined by a poor mindset-infused session. The amount of stuff that can be written about this can fill multiple books (like this, this, and this), so I’ll leave it here.
Side note: I’ve started an Instagram page that talks about some of this, it’s called Peace of Poker and it looks like this:
5. Process > Goals - Poker helped me become more process-oriented rather than goal-oriented. I was already on this path before taking up poker. It just accelerated this journey. Given that there is so much in the hands of luck, focusing on controlling the input variables makes more sense.
Sports mirror life. So it is no surprise that most of these lessons can be directly applied to our work and lives. There is another lesson, the most important one. And that's why it deserves a separate section in itself.
LEARNING HOW TO FAIL - THE OBSTACLE IS THE WAY
Out of all Ryan Holiday's excellent books, I liked 'The Obstacle is The Way' the most. A failure in our path - an obstacle - is not a setback. It is the path. It means that instead of feeling aversion to a failure, we should embrace it - for it means that we've uncovered another hidden pitfall in our journey to success.
I can quote countless examples of recurring failures from history - Edison and light bulbs, Abraham Lincoln and elections and so on. But I'll refrain from doing so because I am sure you know someone in your close vicinity who has persevered through many failures to success.
Given that poker is a game where you lose almost as often as you win, learning how to fail is the most important lesson you could learn outside of the game strategies itself. I would even say that a lack of technical finesse can be overcome by a better grip on handling failure.
Every bad session is an opportunity - not just to learn from the mistakes but also how to be a stronger, resilient person. It is an opportunity to have more empathy for yourself. It is a chance to zoom out and look at the bigger picture of your life.
Poker has taught me that life is a constant struggle of losing your bearings and getting back on track. Our endeavour should be to make that gap - the turnaround time shorter in every iteration.
THE FUTURE
I had an epiphany last year.
At the start of 2020, I had set myself a monetary goal for the year. I assumed that once I hit that lofty target, I’d be incredibly happy. So I worked a lot and hit that target, but I wasn’t. That extra money in the bank account didn’t make me any happier. There was no nirvana. And that’s when I realised, chasing more money is not the answer. To start, you have to find it in these three pillars:
“A calm mind, a fit body and a house full of love” - Naval Ravikant
A sense of connection with the world as a whole is what I am missing. The search for self-actualization (ref. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) is ongoing. One way that can be achievable seems to be by contributing to make others’ lives better - Giving is the best form of self-gratification. Writing is a medium through which I can do that right now. So expect more from me here.
Poker can be a difficult and lonely game and I was lucky to have some friends who helped me along the way. So if any of you ever need help, feel free to get in touch.
Wish you good luck ahead. And if you like my writing, leave your email address below so that I can let you know whenever I write something new.
Turning Things Around - A One Year Poker Update
In the last 12 months, every month except one, I've made money playing poker as a professional. It is a stark contrast from a year ago when I wrote a post titled Dealing with Downswings in Poker. It was about my seeming inability to come out of a persistent downswing. In this new post, I want to give you an update on my poker career, the changes I made - personally and professionally, their impact, and the way forward from here. I hope you get something useful out of this.
First up, current state:
Winnings - In the last 12 months, I made more than thrice the amount of money that I made in the 12 months before that.
Volume - Over the last few months, I've increased my volume to about 2.5x-3x the number of hands I used to play earlier.
Win-rate - My bb/100 win-rate has been hovering around mid single digit for the last year.
Stakes - I have climbed back up to the stakes I was playing before the downswing (50/100) and am planning to make a jump further up (100/200) soon.
Mindset - I am more confident about my game than ever before.
This progress was made possible by bringing about changes in mindset, life and in how I went about my poker career.
Poker Changes
1. Variance
Unlike last year, when I didn't have concrete data, now I have my HUD to give me a somewhat accurate picture of the effect of variance. I ran at EV in all-in spots this year, which is better than what I perceived to be a below EV run last year.
2. Volume
It was only in the recent months that I could truly comprehend the importance of putting in high volume. I was never a high volume grinder. But I've changed this and am now grinding longer sessions and taking fewer days off.
3. Focused effort
In my previous post, this entry was called Distributed effort. And it is one of the biggest changes I've made. Now I focus almost exclusively on cash games. I had realized that tackling tournament variance at a stage when I was vulnerable wasn't a good idea. As things improved, I started taking shots at more tournaments (Sundays and occasional daily majors). Now, I buy into these through satellites or free tickets on deposits, so the buy-ins don't affect my bankroll much. I did make money in them but it was a tiny portion of my overall winnings - cash games are still my roti-sabzi.
4. Study
In terms of putting in study hours, I may not have increased the amount by a lot, but I've improved the quality of my study dramatically. Two major things that have helped in this regard are using a HUD to find leaks and working with a GTO solver ( I use GTO+). I also bought a new computer customised specifically to run these simulations. Using these solvers I’ve learned a lot more about the baseline optimal strategy which consequently allows me to exploit opponents a lot more if I see them deviating from it.
5. Strategy
One of my favorite books that I read last year was Tiger Woods's biography. A few times in his career, Tiger Woods changed his golf swing. It seems like a reasonable thing to do if you are performing poorly but he did it when he was at the peak of his career. The reason was that he wanted to stay ahead of the curve and he felt the new technique will give him an edge. While he was perfecting his swing, his short term results dipped, but as time progressed, he started outclassing his opponents.
My outlook on poker strategy has become the same. The new information and strategy I learnt (through solvers and study) was difficult to implement at first. But as I became better at grasping the nuances, the results improved.
6. Player friendly policies
This change had nothing to do with me but it is about changes the poker companies made last year. Higher rake-back, better tax structures, and lower rake (in some cases) - all of these contributed to my bottom-line.
Mindset Changes
“For me, each game is a new challenge, which has to be dealt with rationally and systematically. At that time, every other thought fades into oblivion.”
- Viswanathan Anand
The Inchworm has crawled further. If you've read The Mental Game of Poker, you'd understand this reference. For those who haven't, what I mean is that I've improved my C-game. Or put it in another way, my C-game is not as calamitous as it used to be. The results of this change are dramatic because having a poor C-game can mean not just a losing session, but it can also have repercussions on your confidence and thus affect your ability to play your A-game.
I achieved this in a variety of ways:
1. People
I found more people to talk Poker with - both strategy and mindset. Some motivated me to grind more, others helped me to fix my mental game issues. And all of them made me feel like I belong in a community and not fighting this battle alone (hat tip to all of you - you know who you are). It was important for me because after many years of working from home, I’d become a recluse.
2. Routine
I developed a Warm-up and Cool-down routine and followed it somewhat regularly. I’ll give you an example of how this has benefited me. I noticed that I perform poorly in the first 30-45 minutes of a session probably because it takes that much time for brain to go from zero engagement to complete zone-in. My warm-up helps me bridge this gap much sooner.
3. Mental Game Hand Histories
I made mental game hand histories in excruciating detail going down to the root of my mindset issues (like motivation, fear of failure, self-doubt etc.). Again, refer “The Mental Game of Poker” on how to make the mental hand histories.
4. Books
I read about elite performers and soaked in whatever I could from their habits, routines and mindset. As an example, another anecdote from the Tiger Woods’ book: Tiger’s dad coached him from a young age. He wanted to ensure that Tiger developed his mindset and not just his golfing skills. So in practice, as Tiger would get ready to take an important shot, his dad would rattle coins in his pocket to unsettle him. Learning to focus under any circumstances was a skill he learnt early, and as he grew up, he was recognized as the strongest mindset golfer on the tour.
5. Relationship with the game
I worked on improving my relationship with the game. I’d always heard maxims like ‘Process over Results’, but it is only now that I’ve internalised it. My goals are no longer just monetary but process-related (x number of hands played at my A-game, y number of tourneys with a min buying of z amount).
When variance negatively affects my results, I treat it as a gentle reminder to dodge complacency. There is less ego involved, less entitlement and I am less stressed as a result. Now, I don’t define a bad session purely in terms of results. Instead it is one in which I’ve broken discipline with respect to session length, game selection or focus.
Life Changes
1. Moving to Bangalore
After two years of living in Goa, I moved to Bangalore. I have a lot of friends here, so that fixed my loneliness problem. They also served as a good support system whenever I was down.
2. Fitness
For the last one year, fitness was my number one priority. So instead of finding time to workout, I planned my day around it. I joined a fitness center and am fairly regular at it. I've also started Intermittent Fasting and plan to continue it if I see good results.
3. Schedule
Discipline is Freedom - it is a mantra that I am convinced of. I’ve created a daily schedule which I try to follow. By auto-piloting my day, I worry less about the mundane and can use that potential energy on the tables instead.
I’ve also started making other positive changes in my life. For example, I have a 'Never' list in which I write bad habits that I want to get rid of. One such habit I got rid of is spending time on the phone on the bed at night. I also added new habits like taking a cold shower which boosts testosterone and increases focus.
4. Cutting down on Intoxicants
I've quit smoking (with the help of this book). It has just been three months but I already feel like a non-smoker and likelihood of a relapse seems low. I've cut down on my alcohol consumption. Now I do it only socially and not as an escape from uncomfortable feelings towards numbness.
I made these life changes not for poker but for myself. I had not been happy with the version of myself I was at that time. So before anything else, I wanted to be able to be okay with who I am. And these changes helped me reach that point. I am now more comfortable with my current version.
THEN: A stick figure middle finger
NOW: A stick figure high-five
Tackling the Darkness
If I were to tell you that these changes allow me to be perpetually at peace, it would be a lie. I still do have days when I fuck up. I still have moments of doubt (usually after a bad session) when I doubt my career choice or my ability as a poker player. But the difference between then and now is that these episodes occur much less frequently and when they do, the intensity is much lower.
As an example, earlier, if I were to lose 2-3 buy-ins early in the session, I would regress to my B or C game. Now, if that early loss happens, I am able to bounce back much quicker and stay at a higher level of performance for longer.
I’ve learned the important skill of being aware of the problem, detaching myself from it and looking at it from a high vantage point. When the storm comes, the tree that is my poker career gets shaken but not uprooted.
The WAY Ahead
In my previous post, one of the goals I had defined for myself was Creation over Consumption. I wanted to write more and create more things but unfortunately, that is one change I couldn't make. And whenever I found myself in a dark spot, this failure would always loom large and make me doubt my life choices.
In fact, the reason I finished this post today (I had written the original draft months ago) was because I wasn't feeling motivated to play poker. Playing cards for money doesn't seem like a fulfilling life if I can't or won't use the freedom it provides to do the things I love to do. And that's what happened today which is what prompted me to finish this post.
So I want to get back to writing. That is what fills me with contentment and makes my life meaningful. Poker is great as a career choice, but I need writing to make my day wholesome. This post is a small step in that direction.
Some other areas where I want to improve are:
Fitness - Going forward, I am laser focused on being the fittest I've ever been. I am nowhere close to where I want to be.
Meditation - I want to build a regular meditation habit. I realise that the focus and mindfulness that comes with meditation is an edge that I want to utilise on the tables.
Reading - Unlike previous years, I read very few books in last one year and I want to change that.
I want to live life right now and not in an assumed future. This means finding time to do all the things that make me happy (writing, reading, travel, meditation). And doing things that need to be done (laundry, buying groceries, cleaning the house). It also means choosing gratefulness over envy.
In terms of poker, I have identified areas of improvement which will then define my goals: improve win-rate, become better at MTTs, be more consistent in warm-up/cool-down routines, fix motivation issues, and become the strongest mindset player I can be.
Finally, I want to leave you with something a writer I like said (I don’t remember who). Paraphrasing: “Writing is penning down one right word. And then another one after that.” Poker is much like that. Your poker career is an accumulation of one hand after another played to the best of your ability.
Good luck on the tables.
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Dealing with Downswings in Poker
In three out of last six months and five out of last 11, I have lost money playing poker. In the 12 months before that, I lost money in only one. I am playing the worst poker of my life. And it doesn’t seem like I am any closer to turning things around.
I am writing this on a Sunday, the biggest day of the week for a poker player, dropping today’s grind. Before I play another hand, I have decided to take a break to investigate what the fuck is going on. And hopefully, you can use some of this to steer out of your own downswing if and when it occurs.
FACTS
At the end of each month, I take stock of my poker results and add notes on events that influenced the results. Thanks to this, I have a clear hindsight and I can see my current downswing rooted in the past.
POKER FACTS
1. Variance
Without data, I can't say for sure that I have run bad or it is just selective memory bias. Any half-decent poker player will tell you that they don't remember the times they sucked out on someone else as much as when they were on the receiving end. Keeping this in mind, I do believe that I ran below EV in critical spots in tourneys or in big pots in cash games.
2. Volume
The number of hours I spent playing went down considerably - 'Didn't play enough' features in my notes in 6 of the last 9 months.
This is a problem. Putting in volume is a way to deal with variance. Poker players pride themselves on making decisions which may turn out to be wrong in that instance but are +EV long term. The long term is achieved by playing a lot of hands so that the variance evens out and the effect of your +EV decisions shines through. And the shorter and fewer sessions I put in didn’t help in this regard.
3. Distributed effort
I am primarily a cash game player but I’ve experimented with tournaments with decent success.
Mixing cash and tournaments is actually a pretty good strategy but I went in without any proper plan. I played tournaments without discretion (although within the rules of BRM). This reduced my cash game time (which is my main source of income) and introduced more variance.
4. Study
While I watched more videos, I did much less off the table hands-on work. In terms of pure technical knowledge, I know more than I ever did in my poker career. But I executed a much smaller percentage of what I learnt.
Why I didn't apply those skills is the mental game weakness.
5. Mental Game
I’ve been a professional when it came to dealing with swings, bad beats, or with someone saying bullshit in the chat. But the mental game slump sneaked up on me - the first big red sign was when for the first time I started considering moving up to cover the losses (which thankfully I didn’t pursue for long).
Often I showed up with my B-game or C-game. Auto-piloting, just clicking buttons. When I was all in a certain spot with say an over-pair against top pair, I would expect getting five outer-ed. I knew I’d lose flips or get my Aces cracked against Kings or run into Aces with my Kings and not get there.
There was a tangible shift in mentality, it was like I had resigned to the idea of losing even in way ahead situations. I would hero call in spots where I knew the villain is never bluffing, and make over elaborate bluffs and then wonder why did I get called.
As to the reason why this happened, it could be as simple as not paying attention to the mind. The way our body needs exercise to stay fit, the mind also needs workout to keep it in good shape, whether it is by meditation or reading books. Furthermore, it is also affected by your life outside poker.
LIFE FACTS
1. Higher Expenses
In the last 12 months, I have spent twice the amount I spent in the 12 months before that (I got married and went on more vacations).
If I am honest with myself, I do think that higher expenses brings pressure and affects the game. It is not all about the money, but also about missing days where I could have put in a grind instead. Unlike a salaried employee, every day we are not on our job, we don’t get paid
I am a flow-player meaning that I perform better when I am playing on a regular schedule. Even though I relished the wedding and the vacations, these breaks ruptured that momentum. Having said this, it is a lifestyle I chose - traveling, enjoying life and playing poker. So the onus is on me to get better at managing the breaks.
2. Unfit body, unfit mind
I have become a not so proud owner of the Indian epidemic called the beer belly. Binge drinking and smoking became a norm. My food habits aren’t the best. And I have nothing to show for in the name of physical exercise.
It should surprise no one that this has a direct correlation with my performance. Alcohol and drugs affect the ability to focus for a sustained period of time. The morning after, I felt drowsy and not capable to think deeply about spots. I felt returning to auto-pilot mode often because I had no stamina left.
Goa monsoons didn’t help either. At the onset, sure it looked green and beautiful. But with time, when I couldn’t go to the beach for a run, or see the sun for days, my mood became as overcast as the sky above.
3. Loneliness
Even before getting married, my wife and I stayed together - so there was no change in that. The friends I had here moved away either geographically or emotionally. With the kind of lifestyle I (and my wife) have - working from home, rarely stepping out - I didn’t meet a lot of new people either. During most days, I said hello to more birds and animals than humans.
This solitude of living in a Goan village got to me. I grew concerned about my mental health as I could see it precipitating into something more serious.
4. No creative outlet
I wrote five articles in 2017 and 13 in 2016. In 2018, I published one.
The reason I got into poker was to sustain my writing. But somewhere along the way, I forgot that initial purpose and focused just on poker. At least I thought I did. What actually happened was that the unsatisfied creative urge to produce something bred discontent and disillusion with poker. The dissatisfaction manifested itself in a sense of futility and a lackadaisical attitude towards the game.
I remember the feeling of waking up in the morning and springing out of the bed so that I can study and play poker. I don't feel that way anymore. The motivation to play the game to enjoy it is not there. Sure, I want to play the game for money but it's not like before where I used to play because I actually enjoyed the game.
5. Indifference towards money
I became numb to losing money. Some of my biggest single day losing sessions came in this period. I stopped caring about money not because I am super rich but because I don't see more money equaling more contentment or happiness.
The detachment with money comes as part of the job description. When we see daily swings which can sometimes equal someone's monthly salary, you stop looking at money as something that is hard to get. It is not bad per se but when it affects your decisions on the table, when you make that big hero call because ‘Fuck you, fuck me, fuck everyone,’ then it becomes a problem.
THERE HAVE BEEN SOME POSITIVES
The losses haven't been that big because of my low volume and a conservative BRM. I am disciplined with my bankroll management and that has allowed me to not worry about my personal financial situation.
I dropped down the stakes. So the mistakes I make are not as costly as before.
I still believe in my ability to bounce back. Self-confidence, which has come from hours of study and playing is holding me in good stead.
PSL Season 2 runner up spot was pretty sweet.
WHAT ARE MY SOLUTIONS?
If you are not doing well in life with say your relationships or mental health, it is unlikely that you will get good results on the felt. A single bad beat will bring forth all the negative emotions and cause you to play worse. So my focus is on improving my life outside poker first.
LIFE SOLUTIONS
1. Moving to Bangalore
At the end of this month, I will move to Bangalore. When you are in a rut, a change of any kind can work wonders. And I am hoping it does.
The move will solve a lot of problems in one go. I have a lot of close friends there which should help curing loneliness. The sports and fitness infrastructure is better so I can do a physical activity regularly. Additionally, I hope to channel city’s energy into my life outside poker.
2. Getting fitter, eating healthier, quitting smoking
These are non-negotiable not just for poker but for life in general.
3. Creation over consumption
The easiest way to find time for writing would be to forego Netflix and such. I also intend to fill my days with things that give me contentment like art and culture. The idea is to live everyday and not postpone it to an imagined future.
4. Mindset training
Even though I wrote about a daily meditation habit, I haven’t been able to put it in practice. That is going to change.
I also want to read more Non-Fiction (Books like When, Deep Work are great to help you live at the peak of your abilities). And of course poker specific - The Mental Game of Poker (I read this early in my career. Now it needs refreshing and reading of the second part).
POKER SOLUTIONS
1. Staying at lower stakes till I get my winning mindset back.
2. Designing my grind as a professional
An elite athlete in any sport probably has a schedule for his work out, practice and pre-game rituals designed to put him in a situation where he can perform at the peak of his abilities. I need something similar.
So the days where I lazily open a lobby and stumble upon a table would be gone. Instead, pre-session rituals, vigilance and restorative breaks, autopilot checks will come in. A target for number of hands/hours to play per week, which tournaments to play will be set. This structure should also help in allowing me to play well even between vacations solving another problem.
I still have a lot of work to do on what it means to be a ‘professional’ in this game. I'll probably post a short post when I have it in proper form.
3. Studying a lot more in a structured method
HH reviews, working with software, videos and a coach. Setting a target for number of hours/week for each of these.
PARTING THOUGHTS
One last thing I want to talk about is envy.
I never got into poker thinking that I want to be the best poker player in the world. But seeing endless brag posts of people made me crave that too. The FOMO kicked in and when I looked at others succeeding, I wanted that success for myself. Even though my definition of success was not about making a certain amount of money or winning a marquee tournament. I accepted, mistakenly so, other people's ambitions as my own without realizing the trade-offs they are making.
I don't know if envy had an affect on my game but it certainly degraded my mental health.
The hardest thing in life is to find your own truth amidst all the noise and the gyaan and have the courage to pursue it. The Instagram culture we are a part of, induces a feeling of discontent at not doing cool things.
via alecwithpen
What I would suggest to you is to find your own truth, whatever it may be. If it is to grind 16 hours a day for a cash games leaderboard, then go for it. If it is to be able to have a regular source of income while working a day job but still be able to play some tournaments on the side, then so be it.
The truth for me is to write, play poker at a competitive level, be able to pay my bills, save for the future, travel and be fit. Creating a balance between them is my responsibility which I need to work on away from the table. And I hope to be back as a mentally, physically and skillswise improved professional.
If you want to talk about poker, mental health or life in general, feel free to ping ( mj [at] mayankja [dot] in ). I may not be an expert in this field, but I have found that letting your feelings out is often the first step in healing. As a sounding board, I am here. Cheers and good luck on the tables.
Further Reading:
Wait But Why’s article on Choosing a Career has a useful exercise on creating priorities when you want to do a lot of things. I am going to do that and I’d recommend it to you too.
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Playing Poker for a Living - A Complete Breakdown
The first thing my mother asked when I told her that I've quit my job and plan to play poker for a living was, "That's gambling, right?" Since she is my mom, and trusts me, a simple "No, it's not. It is a skill game," was enough to put her mind at ease. But it takes a lot more than that to convince the skeptics.
This post will try and explain that about poker. It will be a detailed breakdown of why I chose this profession, how the daily life of a poker player looks like and if this is something you should get into. We’ll also talk about money.
There are three aims of this post:
For non-players, to give an inside look into what it entails to play poker for a living.
For amateurs thinking of taking the game seriously, what it takes to make the jump.
For poker professionals, an echo of thoughts, sharing struggles and victories.
Not all sections will be relevant to all the three groups; pick the ones you like. Here’s what follows:
For the ones who don’t know about the game, let’s start with a quick introduction.
WHAT IS POKER AND ITS LEGAL STATUS
Poker is a card-based skill game that involves an exchange of money. It has many variants and the most popular one is called Texas No-limit Hold'em, which is what I play. When most people say poker, this is what they mean. Other variations include Pot-Limit Omaha, Razz, Open Face Chinese etc.
The poker sites and rooms make money by charging rake. Rake is a percentage of every pot that is taken away - you can imagine it as a commission fees. It is usually anywhere from 2.5% - 5% of the pot with a cap on the total amount.
Most poker variations are played in two formats: Cash Games and Tournaments.
Cash games is where you show up with as much money you want (upto the maximum buy-in), and play with that. The stakes are fixed and are rarely increased as the game goes on.
In tournaments, everyone starts with the same amount of playing chips. As the game progresses, players are eliminated, and at the end a small percentage get the money, while the rest go empty handed. For example, in the last tournament I played, everyone paid Rs. 35k for the entry; there were 294 entries and top 30 people were paid. The guy who got eliminated at the 30th place got Rs. 61k, and the winner got Rs. 27 lacs.
The legal status of poker varies in different countries. In some places, online poker is banned, while live poker in casinos is allowed. For example, Las Vegas is the mecca of poker players but online poker is banned in the US save for a few states. Then there are places like London, where both live and online poker thrive.
In India, online poker is legal. Live poker is legal in casinos or poker rooms in select few places - Goa, Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Kolkata, Gangtok. Indian government treats poker under its gambling laws and a tax of flat 30% is applicable on your winnings.
IS POKER GAMBLING
I think I may not have told my mom the complete truth.
By definition, to gamble is to play games of chance for money. Technically, this makes poker gambling. But the real answer is neither as straightforward, nor is it binary.
Here's what I'll tell you - Poker is a skill based game with an element of luck. Given a long enough duration (which we poker players call long-term), the better player will win against a worse player. We’ll take an example to understand these concepts a bit more.
Let’s say you decide to flip a coin 100 times against a friend. You bet Rs. 10 on Heads every single time, and your friend bets the same amount on Tails. The betting odds are 1:1. This means that for every flip you win, your friend gives you Rs. 10 above your bet and vice versa.
If the coin is not rigged, you can expect to win exactly Rs. 0 after 100 flips. The probability of Heads on a coin flip is 50%; half the time you'll win 10 bucks per flip and lose 10 per flip the other half.
Your Winnings = (50%*100)*10
Your Losses = (50%*100)*(-10 )
This coin toss is a net break even game. Your expected value (EV) from this game is 0.
But here's the thing: Each coin toss is an individual event. The coin itself doesn't know what it showed last time - Heads or Tails. Each individual outcome is independent of the previous one. So it is also possible that 70 out of 100 flips (or even all 100 of them!) show Tails and you lose.
An unlucky day at the coin flip tournament. Hit by statistical probability.
The coin flip follows the laws of probability and statistics but it is not bound by the sample size. Just like we don’t expect the coin to show one Heads and the other Tails in 2 back to back flips, we shouldn’t expect it to show 50 each out of 100 times.
This is called variance - deviation from the norm, from our expected results.
In poker, just like a coin flip, each individual hand is different from the other and is independent of the previous outcome. In a coin flip, if we go long-term, by increasing the sample size to say a billion flips, the distribution should be equally weighted between Heads and Tails. Similarly, if two poker players play each other a billion hands, they can expect to get the same cards and situations equally.
Now the question arises: If both the sides can expect to have the best hand or the worst hand equal number of times, wouldn’t this be a break even game? No. This is where poker differs from a coin flip or any other purely probabilistic game.
You'll be dealt winning hands, and losing hands. The aim then is to extract the most value from your winning hands and minimise losses from your losing hands. This is called MinMax. Minimise losses - Maximise winnings.
Sidenote 1: Minimise losses doesn’t just mean losing the least money when you have a worse hand. It might also mean bluffing your opponent off of a better hand - in this case you are making money even when you have the losing hand.
How do we do that? This is what separates good players from bad. And where the skill comes in. So if an amateur wins against a better player 3 days in a row, it is variance. But, if this happens over a year, then our presumptions about who is a better player are wrong.
MY BEGINNINGS
Just like most people I know who play poker, I was introduced to the game in college. As broke college students, we didn't play for a lot of money - 100 bucks at max. The big winner would then take everyone out to the canteen for a treat. When we couldn’t borrow playing chips, we used matchsticks, or another deck of cards as play money. The setup was quite rudimentary.
The games continued when I started working, this time with proper chips. Stakes increased, nothing excessive, but reasonably higher than before. Poker nights became a thing. The biggest game I played was in the casinos in Goa. But it was just a handful of times as an amateur. And that was that.
Then in 2016, I got into it a lot more. I had money and time to spend. There were no obligations (house, car, family, loans) so I could afford an expensive hobby - and that's what it was at the time. I started playing a lot of home games and discovered Adda52.com - a poker site.
Here we'll take a quick leap across time to go back into the past - to a 13-14 year old me:
I was playing a lot of sports at the time and was competent at most. If two captains were choosing a team, I would be one of the early ones to get picked. And I entertained the dream of becoming a professional sportsperson. My father, who used to be a Table Tennis player/coach in his younger days, encouraged me to take up Snooker since I showed an inclination towards it. But, it was an expensive game; the hourly rates were prohibitively high for me. Around the same time, I had a serious injury which rendered me unable to play sports for a few years. So, the dream had to be put aside.
Coming to the recent past, during my college days, I picked up Snooker again (the hourly rates were ridiculously low). But it was just a hobby; a very time-consuming, entertaining and fulfilling hobby. It was too late to think about becoming a professional snooker player. To become world-class at any sport, you have to start young. Ronnie o' Sullivan, my snooker hero, and quite possibly the most talented snooker player in history, started playing at the age of 6. I couldn’t expect to start at 18 and think of becoming a good professional.
The point of these two stories is to tell you that playing a sport professionally would have been a dream come true for me. Cut back to the present and we see that I have discovered poker websites. A bulb lit up. What if I could do this for a living?
This was also at a time when I was thinking of quitting my job and finding a new location-independent income stream. I wrote about this in an earlier post (the one about my relocation to Goa). Playing online poker seemed to fit the bill. So, I decided to give it a shot. And by the time I quit my job in December 2015, I was on my path to make poker my profession.
THE JURNEY THUS FAR
The first few months of grinding (that's our term for playing poker as a job) were difficult. The most common fallacy among poker players, especially amateurs, is that they believe themselves to be much better than they actually are. I wasn't immune to it either.
When I started, I thought I knew what the game was, I had my moves, and felt that my opponents are doing stupid things and getting lucky. Of course it wasn't true, but in a state of mind clouded by the haze of bad results, it's difficult to recognize it in real time. And I lost a bit of money.
Losing money wasn't the problem. It was in a sense that I had limited savings to experiment this new income stream with. But the real problem was that I didn't know what I was doing wrong.
I had assumed that poker was a simple game. I was wrong. As I wasn’t studying enough, the complexities of the game caught me by surprise. It was the classic case of not knowing what you don’t know.
I started playing at 2/4, 3/6 and 5/10 - at a buy-in of 300, 500 and 750 respectively. The simple fact that I was playing such varied stakes goes to show how bad of a poker professional I was. This is not the way to play. You have to find a stake you are good at, beat that level, and then move to the next one.
After the first few months of losing (mostly online, some live home games for fun), I started spending more time on learning the game. I read articles, watched YouTube lessons, read books and discussed strategy with a friend who was a better player than me at the time.
Gradually, I leveled up to playing 5/10 exclusively (for a maximum buy-in of 1200) and started beating those games. Around the same time, a friend offered to stake me and I began taking shots at 10/20 (for Rs. 2000 buy-in).
Sidenote 2: Staking - Here's how it works: a person gives you money to play poker and you share the winnings with that person. The benefit to the investor is that he gets to make money without expending any effort (with a risk of loss). The player’s benefit is that he gets to take shots at higher stakes with a lower risk exposure. The exact terms of the deal (% winnings and % loss shared) depend upon the two individuals.
In a few months, a combination of studying, running good, and a confidence boost from the arrangement (the fact that someone else trusted my skills gave me a lift) led me to move up to 10/20 permanently.
Sidenote 3: Running good means falling on the positive side of statistical distribution. In our coin flip example, where you lost 70 flips out of 100, you would be said to be running bad, and your opponent would be running good.
By this time I was turning in a regular profit. Hence, with the new found belief that I can make poker my profession, I relocated to Goa.
Current State: I have now graduated up to 25/50 (with a max buy-in of Rs. 6000) playing 4 tables at a time. I prefer cash games over tournaments but if there is a good value tournament, I don’t mind giving it a shot.
PITFALLS ALONG THE JOURNEY
Poker is an emotionally challenging game. Imagine losing 10 coin flips in a row, and having the emotional maturity to be able to convince yourself that it’s OK, in the long term, you’ll end up break even. In poker, there are situations where you are a percentage favorite (say 99%) to win the hand, you made the best play, but the last card comes out to be one of the 1% times when you lose.
The solace that a good poker professional seeks in such situations is in knowing that he made the best play. The opponent got lucky once, but the rest 99 times, you’ll make money. But here's the problem: You cannot expect that the 1% will occur every 99 times. It is a possibility that it happens twice or thrice or any number of times in a row.
Replace The guy on the right with Computer Screen/Wall/Keyboard
At times like these, rationality, logic and analytical thinking goes down the drain. Emotions take over and you start questioning your game play and basically become a wreck. In such situations, having the emotional stability to look beyond the immediate results, is the hallmark of a great poker player. And it takes time to develop. It certainly took me a lot of time to improve at.
I’ve had nights where I lost a lot because of variance. If you are not emotionally detached to the immediate results, this run-bad will cause you to play worse and it becomes a vicious cycle. It pushed me to the verge of quitting a few times.
This leads perfectly to our next section - the skills needed to become a professional poker player.
SKILLS NEEDED
In my experience so far, here is my top 4 list:
1. Focus - It is not uncommon for an online poker session to be 12 hours long. Live poker sessions can even go on for days. My last tournament started at 7 p.m. and ended at 4.30 a.m. and that was just the first day. The ability to focus deeply for an extended period of time thus becomes a critical skill to succeed. If you are easily distracted, this is probably not for you.
2. Discipline - Let's be honest, Poker is a little bit like gambling. It is easy to be running good and perceive yourself as being a great player and take shots at higher stakes. The ability to play within your Bankroll (We'll explore this concept later) and have the discipline to put in regular hours of studying is thus vital.
3. Analytical Mind - A lot of poker players have a background in strategy games like chess or video games. This is not to say that it is a necessity to be a good chess player, but the ability to break things down to basics is a huge plus.
4. Emotional Stability - As we learnt in the pitfalls during my journey, even during a run bad, you should have the emotional stability to look past the trees and see the forest. Decisions in poker are based on the expected value of an action. Even though you might lose in a particular instance, being able to commend yourself for making the right play is a good sign.
A lot of poker players, including myself, work on their mental game extensively. It is a big part of the profession and there are coaches who work with you just for that. To lose money and still be able to have a sound sleep, and function normally in your relationships and daily life is a skill that needs to be developed.
LET's TALK ABOUT MONEY
I was talking about playing poker on Reddit, and people asked me a few questions about making money. I’ll answer some here.
Q. How many months in a year can you expect to be in profit?
I don’t think this is the right question to ask because it is irrelevant. You can have more losing months in a year yet still end up net positive for the year and vice versa.
This is especially true for tournament players for whom a big score usually skews the results of one month or sometimes a whole year. But I am a cash game player, and even though a downswing of one month isn't unheard of (and not un-experienced either), I have had more positive months over the last 12 months than negative. Here's a graph of my cummulative results (the numbers aren't there, but the trajectory is true).
As you can see, I've had a few negative months, but the net effect is positive
Sidenote 4: Downswing - A long streak of losses/run bad.
Q. How much can you expect to make?
Simple Answer - Good amount of money. This amount is based on a lot of ‘Ifs’. If you: study enough, select good games, play your A-game a big % of the time, run well and a whole lot of other factors.
Complicated Answer - Winrate in poker is usually calculated on the basis of BB/100 which is Big Blinds per 100 hands. So if you play 1000 hands in a day, 20 days a month, and you make Rs. 50000 playing on 10/20, your winrate would be (50,000*100/20*1000*20) = 12.5 which is great. A winrate of 12.5BB per 100 will put you in the top 1-2% of players. A more realistic winrate could be anywhere from 5-7BB/100. Really good players can reach 10BB/100 and higher.
Q. How much money do you need to start playing poker?
Simple Answer - The games are available at all stakes starting as low as for Rs. 100. If your question was how much you need to be able to make this a living, then the answer would be you need enough to survive the inevitable downswing without punching your monitor.
Complicated Answer - This is the part where most people fail, even some pros: Bankroll Management (BRM). Bankroll is the amount of money you have. As a poker player, you need to have two BRs - life bankroll and poker bankroll.
BRM is a way to manage your poker bankroll in such a way that it minimises the effects of negative variance. If you are a true professional, this is one of the key areas which you would have to master. I have been guilty of misusing my bankroll at times, and it has come back to bite me in the ass. Let me explain.
Let's say you have Rs. 1 lac to play poker. You like two games - one at 10/20 with max buy-in of Rs. 2k and the other at 100/200 with max buy-in of Rs. 20k.
Good BRM would tell you that former is the game to choose. In latter case, you have a 5 buy-in cushion. But, that's not enough to handle the inevitable downswing. What if your 99% hands lose against 1% hands 5 times in a row? You will end up broke.
Personally, I have experienced a downswing of 10-15 buy-ins. I have read stories of people experiencing 40 buy-ins downswings too. And they were not bad players. As a rule of thumb, on a conservative side, I'd recommend a bankroll of 100 buy-ins. I don't always follow this rule, I wish I did, but do as I say, not as I do.
A more practical approach would be to play with a 40-60 buy-in bankroll. But anything below this would be inviting trouble. If you don't have that much money, drop down the stakes, build your bankroll and then move up.
A bad beat doesn't care about the stake you are playing. It doesn't care that you are playing well and have just made good winnings on a lower level and are now taking a shot at a higher level. It cares only about statistics and probability. It might strike you the hardest when you are taking shot at a higher level, or it might also smile on you.
If you are a professional, better not take a chance.
Q. Which is better - Cash Games or Tournaments?
It depends on your goals with poker. These three basic differences should make it clear:
1. Nature of Earnings - If you are a good player, you can expect to have a decent regular income from cash games. It may not be big, but it will be fairly regular. The effects of variance are not pronounced.
On the other hand, tournaments are high-variance in nature. So, even if you are a very good player, you can expect to have long dry spells; or find yourself winning life-changing money in a single day.
2. Fame and Glory - The way you have trophies in other sports, we have Bracelets for esteemed Poker Tournament winners. And it is a matter of great pride to win a bracelet. There is no such tangible reward for a good cash game player.
Here’s a short documentary called 10 for 10 about Martin Jacobson, the winner of 2015 World Series of Poker. It is the most prestigious poker tournament in the world, and awarded $10 million for the winner.
Look at all that money and the big shiny bracelet - Martin Jacobson, 2015 WSOP Main Event Winner
3. Schedule Constraints - Most good tournaments (online) are scheduled over the weekend. So, you need to plan your schedule around that. There is no such constraint with cash games - you choose when you want to play.
GOOD WAY TO MAKE A LIVING?
There's a popular saying about the game: "Poker is a hard way to make easy money." And I couldn't have put it across any better. Let's break it down into Pros and Cons:
PROS:
1. Freedom of time and schedule - I fix my own schedule. I decide how long I want to play, when I want to play. Sometimes, if I am not feeling up to it, I read a book, or watch a movie.
2. BYOB (Be Your Own Boss) - Need I explain further?
3. It is challenging - Just like any competitive sport, it is a challenging game. Even if you start beating the players at your stakes, there will always be a level up or a newer variant of the game for you to master. It keeps the game fresh and invigorating. There is nothing like a good challenge to keep your brain cells young and healthy.
4. Location independence - I have played poker from the mountains of Dharmasala while watching the sun set behind the mountains, to the sound of the flowing river as a furry dog jumped around trying to catch a sparrow. I have played poker in my underwear in my house in Goa. I have played at Cafes and in friends' houses (fully clothed). If location independence is your dream, it’s a great profession.
Not just online, but live as well. Poker tournaments are hosted all over the world in some exotic places. Casinos can be found in a lot of countries. So if you choose to be a live player, the regular travel to tournaments or casinos and meeting new people could be really satisfying.
5. Money - Of course there's money to be made in poker. A lot of money. You won't become a billionaire. A millionaire, yes, if you work hard at it. And having poker as a skill means that you can go in any poker room and expect to make money - so it’s like having your own money fountain.
CONS:
1. Not enough freedom - Remember what I said earlier about freedom of time and money, it's there but it’s not absolute. Here's the thing - unlike a regular job, where you get paid even during a holiday, poker doesn't pay you for a day off. Call it opportunity cost. So, if you choose to spend your free time watching a movie, you will have to ask yourself as to whether that time could be better used studying.
2. BYOB - With most professions where you set your own deadlines, it can be hard to be disciplined.
3. It is challenging - A simple fact of the game of poker is that you make money by playing against players who are worse than you. Unlike a few years ago, today there are a larger % of people who are good at the game. The sheer number of resources - both free and paid makes it dead simple to learn the game quickly and in a better way.
Hence, the game is only getting tougher. And if you are relying on this to make you money, this could be a problem if you aren't learning faster than others are.
4. Emotionally Taxing - You need to have a very clear head to be good at the game. I have punched walls and screamed in frustration after getting unlucky a few times in a row even after making the correct play. All that was earlier in my poker journey and much before I became a better professional.
5. Search for contentment and fulfillment - Before I got into poker, I had an inkling that this will be a problem. Poker is a negative-sum game. For you to make money, not only does the other player have to lose money, but you also have to make more than the amount of rake you are paying the site.
Grinding each day, playing cards, without making an impact in the real world can make people unfulfilled. It is not a spectator sport to an extent that say Tennis is. So whereas Tennis players can rejoice in the fact that they provide entertainment to their fans, and find fulfillment in that; poker players can't. Sure, some events are televised, but it’s much harder for a newbie to be hooked to poker than tennis.
I have read personal stories, spoken to people who have expressed the same sense of emptiness. I had a feeling that I might be prone to it and that is why I have my writing to balance it off - to satisfy my creative urges, to create something for the world.
So, if you are thinking of getting into poker professionally, having something to balance it off would be a good idea to counter fatigue especially if you look at it as a 10-15 year career.
A USUAL DAY AT THE OFFICE
I wake up 10-11ish; do my morning rituals followed by exercise. I make a quick breakfast - most days I eat cereal with milk - helps keep things simple. A little bit of Start with Art and then I get to writing. Writing doesn't happen daily but I try to make it a practice to sit down for sometime and write. A few days, I go to the pool for a swim.
I take a break to make lunch, shower, eating and then some lazing around. I try to get my meditation in between. The evenings are beautiful here in Goa, so I make it a point to spend some time outdoors - walks, grocery shopping, beach visits, or sitting in the porch and bird-watching (quite literally) or reading.
At dusk, I fire up my poker session. Depending upon the action, and if there are any tournaments scheduled, I squeeze in daily study time. It doesn't always happen but I'd like to take out more time to study. I take a break for dinner and then end the session around midnight. An hour or two of winding down follows and I call it a day.
Some weekends I am busier than usual, because good tournaments are lined up over the weekend. As I am busy most evenings, sometimes I choose to skip meeting friends and avoid social obligations. But, if I want to party, I go out partying. “The games will always be there tomorrow,” is what I tell myself.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT LIVE POKER
I have played in home games, in poker rooms and in fancy casinos. I have played on beds, on mattresses, on floors, at dining tables, at restaurant tables, and at fancy poker tables. I have played drunk, high, and sometimes both (not recommended).
Playing live poker is a very enjoyable activity. Get a group of 6-7 people, get the banter going, order food, put on some music and it makes for a superb friday evening. Often the games go on till the wee hours of the morning, which is when you go out for a cup of tea at the roadside thela and discuss hands and the action. Just writing about it makes me crave for a good live poker session since I don't play live much anymore.
This is what makes this game great - the social aspect. You'll often find that people make it a regular part of their lives because of its entertainment value. I have made new friends at the poker table and shared laughs with many.
If you want to play live poker professionally, by all means go for it. Even though I like playing live, I can't do it regularly. Usually, the live games start late in the evening and go on till early morning which screws up your sleep cycle. The long hours and the lopsided schedule - I can't do it. Perhaps I am getting old (I am still 28 but the early 20s time feels such a long time ago), but I like a good sleep and a reasonable schedule.
WHERE TO PLAY
Online: I play almost exclusively on Adda52.com. It doesn’t have the best software but it has other positives. First, it has been around the longest. This makes it much safer to play there since you can trust them to handle your money with care (there’ve been cases of fraud by poker sites). Secondly, it has the most number of active users. This ensures that there are games running at most times of the day.
Other popular sites are Spartan Poker (great tournament structures), PokerBaazi, Poker Ninja, FTR Poker, GoPoker, PokerHigh. I haven't played much on these sites except maybe some tourneys on Spartan. So, I won’t be able to comment on them with authority.
Live: If you want to play live, you can always find home games. Otherwise, there are poker rooms in Bangalore, Kolkata, Ahmedabad and Casinos in Goa and Sikkim. A news came in recently today that Indian Poker Association (IPA) is opening up new poker rooms in Radisson Blu, Delhi and a few other 5 star properties. Their plan is to open up more rooms in other cities like Rajkot, Indore, Varanasi, Kochi, Chennai too, which is great news for poker.
The logistics of playing online are simple - You deposit money via usual methods: Credit Card/Debit Card/Netbanking etc. And you can withdraw it directly to your bank account or via cheques. I use direct withdrawals to my bank account and they are smooth - usually happens within 2-3 days of raising a withdrawal request.
Then there are a bunch of international sites you can play on: PokerStars, 888 poker, TonyBet etc. I don't play much over there since deposits and withdrawals have been a hassle. But you’ll find many more active users on these sites, and a lot of different variations of the game.
FUTURE OF POKER
If you read the news recently, you would have found an article about how a computer beat some top poker players. Does it mean that computers can now beat poker players? The answer is No. That computer, called Libratus, beat humans at Heads-Up No Limit Hold'em. It is a subset of Texas No-limit Hold'em and it has much fewer decision trees. The popular variant isn't beaten yet.
This is not to say that I don't see a time that computers would completely be able to beat the game. AI is coming! The online version is seeing a barrage of new tools which help you improve as a poker player and tell you the Game Theory Optimal way of playing.
The edges between the top players are becoming smaller and smaller, which is true for most sports at elite level. But the difference between poker and other sports is that these edges directly relate to money in poker. In other sports, say two top football teams play each other 10 times. Both win 3 times each and draw the rest 4. They will still get paid because of tickets and TV rights. In poker, if the same scenario happens, both the players actually end up losing (because of rake).
Having said this, live poker would always be around. It is a fun, social and entertaining game and I don't see it going away any time sooner.
Talking specifically about India, this is a time of sharp growth. More number of poker sites are coming up than ever before. The people behind them are doing good to promote the game by conducting events in colleges and catching young players at an early stage. A new league on the lines of IPL called the Poker Sports League (PSL) will have its debut tournament this May. It has been running qualifiers for the past 4-5 months to shortlist the best poker players in the country. The 12 teams participating have reputable business houses as their owners. So the trajectory is looking up.
As for me, poker has become an indispensable part of my life. Not only does it pay my bills, it also gives me immense joy to compete. If a day goes by without poker, something feels amiss. I have a long way to go, and I am looking forward to move ahead and upwards on my poker journey.
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