For the last two weeks, I have tried building a meditation habit. The previous attempt didn’t sustain for long. Turns out that sitting quietly for 15 minutes every day with your eyes closed and not thinking of things is incredibly difficult. So this time I applied James Clear’s methods from his book Atomic Habits and tried to build a system around it.
“If you’re having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn’t you. The problem is your system. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
Why do I care about meditation? For the simple reason that I feel better after. In my work as a poker player, I need to make a lot of quick decisions repeatedly for hours. And whenever I played after meditating, I felt like I had just a wee bit more time for every decision. There’s also plenty of science behind its benefits. Our brain physically changes as we meditate, especially in the parts involved in monitoring our focus and self-control.
Now, on to the methods. I am going to use a lot of examples of exercise as a habit because that’s something I’ve become good at. Direct quotes from the book in Italics
CHANGING THE IDENTITY
The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity.
When I tried to quit smoking, I read Alan Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking. One of its two key points was to believe you are a Non-Smoker. Not that you have quit, or you are someone who smokes sometimes. But you are a non-smoker.
It’s like being a Vegan. Either you are, or you are not.
Similarly, if you want to create a new habit, you have to become that person. For me, if I am trying to build a meditation habit, I have to start thinking that this is what I do - I meditate daily. There is no I have to or I should. It’s natural.
The word ‘Identity’ itself comes from two Latin words Essentias meaning being and Identidem meaning repeatedly. So our identity is nothing but our repeated beingness.
THE 1ST LAW: MAKE IT OBVIOUS
The Techniques:
The Implementation Intention or The Trigger - It is a plan that we make beforehand about when and where to carry out the activity. The format is:
I will [BEHAVIOR] at [TIME] in [LOCATION]
Habit Stacking - Have you ever noticed yourself going on a shopping spree? That tendency of one purchase leading to another is called The Diderot Effect. Habit Stacking capitalizes this tendency by using an existing habit as a trigger for the desired habit:
After [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].
Environment > Motivation - Redesigning our environment does much better to change our behavior than Motivation (which is an exhaustible resource). Two key points in this:
Use visual cues as catalysts for the new behavior
Try a new place where you haven’t tried the habit before.
My Adaptation:
In the last year, my exercise habit was triggered by setting the dishwasher. It was a specific and actionable trigger. For meditation, my trigger would be finishing lunch. Post-lunch is often the period when I am most lethargic. And feeling the lowest during the day. Meditation can hopefully help solve both problems.
Adding Meditation just after Lunch
For the environment, I am going to use my balcony which already has a Buddha painting hanging there. The combination of a new place plus the visual cue should do its job.
My Trigger + Habit Stacking:
‘After I finish lunch, I will meditate on the balcony for 15 minutes.’
THE 2ND LAW: MAKE IT ATTRACTIVE
The Techniques:
Temptation Bundling - Using a habit that we are tempted to do as a reward for an activity we should do. The anticipation of our WANT habit drives the NEED habit. For example, I browse Twitter in breaks between sets during my workout. The Formula:
After [HABIT I NEED], I will [HABIT I WANT]
The Effect of People - I took up Intermittent Fasting because I had a friend who did it successfully. That same friend quit smoking after I did. The people in our lives affect our habits immensely.
One of the most effective things you can do to build better habits is to join a culture where your desired behavior is the normal behavior. The shared identity begins to reinforce your personal identity.
Motivation Ritual - It’s like putting on music before a big game/an exam/a workout (all of which I do). Even if you are not motivated beforehand, the ritual itself drives the motivation up.
My Adaptation:
Combining Temptation Bundling with Habit Stacking:
After Lunch, I will meditate for 15 minutes on the balcony
After Meditation, I will make a cup of tea and have Monaco
As for having people around, I don’t yet have a meditation partner per se. So if you would like to share some insights, I’d love to hear. Meanwhile, I am also going to hang around on Reddit Meditation subs.
THE 3RD LAW: MAKE IT EASY
The Techniques:
Walk slow, not backward - Not being able to do a complete workout every day is fine as long as we do at least a little bit - say 5 push-ups. As long as we put in a rep, however small, it works. Lost days hurt more than successful days help. So maintaining a streak is critical.
One of the most common questions I hear is, “How long does it take to build a new habit?” But what people really should be asking is, “How many does it take to form a new habit?” That is, how many repetitions are required to make a habit automatic?
Habits form based on frequency, not time.
The law of least effort - Prime your environment for future use. Like keeping your morning workout clothes out the night before. Two more ideas:
2-minute rule - Downscale your habits until they can be done in two minutes or less.
A commitment device - Like buying a better mattress for sleeping. Or signing-up for an automatic savings plan.
My Adaptation
I am not looking to meditate 30 minutes every day. I’ll start small for 15 minutes. Even 5 minutes will work.
Usually, after lunch, I lie down for a bit. So I can squeeze in a quick meditation then. Either I’ll be gone into a siesta or I’ll be able to meditate - both reasonable outcomes.
As for priming environment, I don’t need it right now. But if the habit doesn’t work, I will buy a meditation cushion, or a candle or a meditation bowl.
THE 4TH LAW: MAKE IT SATISFYING
The Techniques
Instant Gratification - Our brain is wired to be biased towards immediate reward than by the possibility of even a bigger reward in the future. Hence we need to feel immediately successful for a habit to stick - even if it’s in a small way.
The key is to select a reward that reinforces your identity rather than conflicts with it. So don’t reward yourself with ice cream after a workout. Instead, allocate money for a weekly massage. It reinforces the identity as someone who takes care of their own body.
Habit Tracking - What doesn’t get tracked, doesn’t get done. The habit stacking + habit tracking formula is:
After [CURRENT HABIT], I will [TRACK MY HABIT].
My Adaptations:
My cup of tea + Monaco biscuits serves as Instant Gratification. If it doesn’t work, I will consider creating a Spa fund or Travel Fund.
I use Insight Timer which automatically tracks my habit
Parting Notes
“Men desire novelty to such an extent that those who are doing well wish for a change as much as those who are doing badly.”
I have to remind myself to fall in love with the boredom of doing the same thing over and over again. To look for novelty in repetition. It is an opportunity to delve deeper inside our own minds. It can even be therapeutic - like a runner, putting one step after the other in endless laps.
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